When Others Can Be Our Guide For Caring

Caretaking for a suffering spouse and transitioning into a nursing home

When Others Can Be Our Guide For Caring For our Loved Ones

When someone comes into our offices after caring for a loved one with declining health, often they have been a caretaker for a long time. It is not uncommon for these clients to have drained many of their own resources, whether those be personal or financial. They may have been caring for their spouse in their home and realized it was no longer a safe environment, or the daily medical assistance needed to provide a safe home may be too overwhelming to administer. Either way, when the well-spouse begins considering moving their suffering partner into a nursing home, they often start with the resources around them, whether it be close family members or others in the community.

Over the last few months, we have had the pleasure of working with a family who came to us after consulting with one of their closest friends. These two men have lived in the same neighborhood together for several years and had taken counsel with one another through good, bad and challenging times. Both were caring for their wives, while contemplating transitioning them into a nursing home. While being so occupied by caring for their wives, they hadn’t been able to keep in touch like they had just a few years before. So, when one friend told the other he had recently transitioned his wife to a nursing home, the other confided in him that he too, was contemplating making the same difficult decision.

I’m sure many personal stories were shared between these two longtime friends. I’m confident these discussions helped them cope and endure their mutual circumstances. That’s what friends and neighbors are for. One of the stories shared with us about their conversations, was the referral of a book called the Complete Guide to Caring for Aging Loved Ones. Authored by Robert Riekse of Focus on the Family, this book provides advice for caregiving loved ones and for those transitioning another into a nursing home. Here is a summary from Amazon, “Whether you’re preparing for the responsibility or are in the midst of caring for an elderly loved one, this complete guide from Focus on the Family provides the practical information you need―and a spiritual and emotional lifeline. Topics include burnout; physical, emotional, and mental changes in aging; medical, financial, and legal help; elder abuse; choosing a care facility; and end-of-life decisions. Caregivers will also learn what the Bible says about caregiving and the keys to effectively fulfilling that role. True stories throughout the guide share common concerns and a sense of support from those who have been there.”

I understand the challenges of taking care of our loved ones with declining health cannot simply be answered with a book. However, it is important that we are willing to accept help from others and look out for resources in our communities that are there to assist us with our caregiving. I do not receive any financial benefit from recommending this book, and it is just one of dozens of great editorial resources available. However, I can say that it has assisted a least two clients in the last year while they managed caring for their loved ones in the home, and while transitioning them into nursing homes.  This story most importantly highlights the importance of reaching out to others in our lives for advice and help.

If you feel like you have reached the limit of your own resources or are just simply looking for advice on what steps you should take next to care for someone you love, please feel free to contact us at (913) 491-6332, visit our website berger-lawfirm.com or stop by our conveniently located offices at 11233 Nall, Suite 140 Leawood, KS 66211 for more information.​ Berger Estate & Elder Law P.A. has been finding solutions throughout Kansas City for over 30 years providing Trusted Counsel with Proactive Solutions for many. We’ve been helping individuals plan, navigate and overcome the challenges of caretaking and life’s transitions for over 30 years. Give us a call today!


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